Old Fartamins

Ah yes… the perfect gift for anyone who’s reached that magical age where their back goes out more than they do. This “prescription” candy delivers exactly what every older person craves on their birthday: a colorful, sugar-coated reminder that they are, in fact, OLD. Packed with jelly beans and just the right amount of disrespect, it’s the gift that says, “I love you… and also, good luck finding your reading glasses.”

Mobility not included.